Heroic Code of Conduct

Just as heroes have their own code of honor, so do we as Latter-Day Saints. Our banner, or modern "title of liberty" if you will, is known as The Family: A Proclamation to the World. This year, The Proclamation celebrated its 20th anniversary. It was first announced by President Gordon B. Hinckley "at the annual general Relief Society meeting" (Hawkins et al). Even though it was first given so long ago, its importance is not lessened. Rather, it has become more important as time progresses.

The Proclamation is a guide to families all around the world. There is a reason "to the World" was added at the end, it isn't just for the church. God loves all of His children, and He wants the message of the Proclamation to spread to the whole world. Today, "more than ever, families are under attack. A culture of throwaway relationships; familial apathay and permissive values... and immorality has made the responsibility to build strong families more challenging and more important" (Hawkins et al).

The Proclamation can provide direction in many aspects of our lives. It answers questions concerning gender, parental roles, our divine nature, marriage, and the law of chastity. Not only does The Proclamation provide answers, it also ends with a challenge to "promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society" (The Family).

In this instance, we are Clark Kent rather than Superman. We have our own "Daily Planet" to share goodness through. Today social media allows us to share our beliefs in a variety of ways. We can promote the importance of the family unit with the click of a button. There are so many people who have yet to hear the glad message of The Proclamation. I reaffirm that it is our duty as responsible citizens to promote and spread the message of The Proclamation. How can we have this knowledge, and not share it? 

Sources:

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). The Proclamation: A Guide, a Banner, and a Doctinal Summary of the Church’s Emphasis on the Family. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, September 23). Retrieved October 29, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Building Strong Families

The X-Men are, in my opinion, extremely underrated. They are so flippin' amazing! A bunch of misfits and unwanted people came together and created a superhero team! It doesn't get much better than that! I think what makes me like them so much is that not only are they  a team, they are a family as well. They live together at Charles Xavier's school and spend time together. Their activities and training help build strong relationships and a stronger team. 

It seems like everywhere I look people are sellling advice on creating a strong family. Self- help and advice books advertise the answers. But what are the answers? What really works? I argue that we can build strong families through participation in wholesome family activities. 

What constitutes a wholesome family activity? How can we decide what is wholesome? In today's world "we seem to be connected to the whole world electronically, yet disconnected to those closest to us" (Hawkins et al). Not much growth comes from watching movies, playing video games, or hanging out on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I think these activities are great. Sometimes we just need to pop in a movie and unwind. However, I don't think that this should become a habit leading to family members not knowing how to interact unless they are staring at a screen. I agree with the words of Elder D. Todd Christofferson, “At the same time, it hardly needs to be said that much of what passes for entertainment today is coarse, degrading, violent, mind-numbing, and time wasting. Ironically, it sometimes takes hard work to find wholesome leisure. When entertainment turns from virtue to vice, it becomes a destroyer of the consecrated life.” I think that too often we don’t want to go through the effort of planning and participating in wholesome recreation. It’s much easier to turn on the TV, Xbox, or Wii. I believe that as we work hard to make wholesome recreation a part of our family life it will pay off in the emotional and spiritual levels of each family member. I also think that the more we do it, the easier it will become. We need to return to activities that connect us to our families. 

Just like building a house, as we build a family we need to first create a strong foundation. The "habits [that] children develop early in their lives stay with them and are difficult to change" (Hawkins et al). The first wholesome activity for families that comes to mind is going to church. Going to church services and activities include benefits such as, "strengthend relationships, more family togetherness and unity, increased communication, less contention and more kindness" (Hawkins et al). In this world church attendance seems to be frowned upon, and it isn't "cool" for teens or young adults to go. Being "cool" isn't what we are striving for. We want to raise responsible, intelligent, and hardworking children. To me, that is cool. Another activity that seems to be disappearing is the practice of sitting down and eating a meal together as a family. Sports, clubs, jobs, and other committments pull us away from each other and I think that it is important for us to set aside the time to listen and talk to one another. 

I think that wholesome family activities are activities that invite the spirit or a lesson is learned. Ezra Taft Benson said, “Wholesome recreation is part of our religion, and a change of pace is necessary, and even its anticipation can lift the spirit.” I think that the closer an activity brings us to our families, the more wholesome it is. Some of my favorite activities to do with my family include camping, hiking, going fishing, playing sports, and cooking together. I think that activities that don’t include competition generally have better results. If we are concerned about winning or being better, we forget to learn to work together and to have fun.

We live in a world where the possiblities are endless, we just need to go after them. I challenge you to start a new tradition to build your own X-Men. Don't just build a team, build a family. Have each other's backs and trust one another.

Sources:

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

What Matters Most

As parents, we have the responsibility to raise responsible children. “A home with a loving and loyal husband and wife is the supreme setting in which children can be reared in love and righteousness and in which the spiritual and physical needs of children can be met" (Bednar). The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that it is our duty to "be law-abiding citizens wherever [we] live" and "to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society".

As we teach our children to live righteously and live the commandments, we fulfill our duties as parents. We will be accountable for our parenting, and I hope that we don't become caught up in being perfect and miss out on what matters most.

"I speak to fathers and mothers everywhere with a plea to put harshness behind us, to bridle our anger, to lower our voices, and to deal with mercy and love respect one toward anther in our homes" (Hawkins et al).

We can't teach our children to be law-abiding and responsible citizens if we don't show them how such citizens act. Telling a child to avoid drinking and doing drugs only goes so far, and if we have a cigarette or a glass of wine every once in  a while, they will become confused by the contradition between our actions and our words. Too often we follow the "do as I say, not as I do" idea in our parenting methods. 

Ezra Taft Benson said, "Children must be taught right from wrong. They can and must learn the commandments of God. They must be taught that it is wrong to steal, lie, cheat, or covet what others have. Children must be taught to work at home. They should learn there that honest labor develops dignity and self-respect. They should learn the pleasure of work, of doing a job well.”

Only by teaching our children what matters most can we fully appreciate what matters most in life. How great will be our joy as we watch our children grow and develop into the person we are raising them to become. 


Sources:

Bednar, D., (June 2006), Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan, Retrieved October 30, 2015 from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng

Benson, E. (1992, July 1). Salvation-A Family Affair. Retrieved November 2, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1992/07/salvation-a-family-affair?lang=eng

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Parenting in Gospel Context: Practices Do Make a Difference. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, September 23). Retrieved October 29, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation