Building Strong Families

The X-Men are, in my opinion, extremely underrated. They are so flippin' amazing! A bunch of misfits and unwanted people came together and created a superhero team! It doesn't get much better than that! I think what makes me like them so much is that not only are they  a team, they are a family as well. They live together at Charles Xavier's school and spend time together. Their activities and training help build strong relationships and a stronger team. 

It seems like everywhere I look people are sellling advice on creating a strong family. Self- help and advice books advertise the answers. But what are the answers? What really works? I argue that we can build strong families through participation in wholesome family activities. 

What constitutes a wholesome family activity? How can we decide what is wholesome? In today's world "we seem to be connected to the whole world electronically, yet disconnected to those closest to us" (Hawkins et al). Not much growth comes from watching movies, playing video games, or hanging out on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I think these activities are great. Sometimes we just need to pop in a movie and unwind. However, I don't think that this should become a habit leading to family members not knowing how to interact unless they are staring at a screen. I agree with the words of Elder D. Todd Christofferson, “At the same time, it hardly needs to be said that much of what passes for entertainment today is coarse, degrading, violent, mind-numbing, and time wasting. Ironically, it sometimes takes hard work to find wholesome leisure. When entertainment turns from virtue to vice, it becomes a destroyer of the consecrated life.” I think that too often we don’t want to go through the effort of planning and participating in wholesome recreation. It’s much easier to turn on the TV, Xbox, or Wii. I believe that as we work hard to make wholesome recreation a part of our family life it will pay off in the emotional and spiritual levels of each family member. I also think that the more we do it, the easier it will become. We need to return to activities that connect us to our families. 

Just like building a house, as we build a family we need to first create a strong foundation. The "habits [that] children develop early in their lives stay with them and are difficult to change" (Hawkins et al). The first wholesome activity for families that comes to mind is going to church. Going to church services and activities include benefits such as, "strengthend relationships, more family togetherness and unity, increased communication, less contention and more kindness" (Hawkins et al). In this world church attendance seems to be frowned upon, and it isn't "cool" for teens or young adults to go. Being "cool" isn't what we are striving for. We want to raise responsible, intelligent, and hardworking children. To me, that is cool. Another activity that seems to be disappearing is the practice of sitting down and eating a meal together as a family. Sports, clubs, jobs, and other committments pull us away from each other and I think that it is important for us to set aside the time to listen and talk to one another. 

I think that wholesome family activities are activities that invite the spirit or a lesson is learned. Ezra Taft Benson said, “Wholesome recreation is part of our religion, and a change of pace is necessary, and even its anticipation can lift the spirit.” I think that the closer an activity brings us to our families, the more wholesome it is. Some of my favorite activities to do with my family include camping, hiking, going fishing, playing sports, and cooking together. I think that activities that don’t include competition generally have better results. If we are concerned about winning or being better, we forget to learn to work together and to have fun.

We live in a world where the possiblities are endless, we just need to go after them. I challenge you to start a new tradition to build your own X-Men. Don't just build a team, build a family. Have each other's backs and trust one another.

Sources:

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Wholesome Family Recreation: Building Strong Families. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.