Why We Need a Savior

The Christmas season is here, and I wanted to share this message as a reminder for why we celebrate. I know that because of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and His gospel, we can be together forever as families. Christ is the true superhero.

Heroic Code of Conduct

Just as heroes have their own code of honor, so do we as Latter-Day Saints. Our banner, or modern "title of liberty" if you will, is known as The Family: A Proclamation to the World. This year, The Proclamation celebrated its 20th anniversary. It was first announced by President Gordon B. Hinckley "at the annual general Relief Society meeting" (Hawkins et al). Even though it was first given so long ago, its importance is not lessened. Rather, it has become more important as time progresses.

The Proclamation is a guide to families all around the world. There is a reason "to the World" was added at the end, it isn't just for the church. God loves all of His children, and He wants the message of the Proclamation to spread to the whole world. Today, "more than ever, families are under attack. A culture of throwaway relationships; familial apathay and permissive values... and immorality has made the responsibility to build strong families more challenging and more important" (Hawkins et al).

The Proclamation can provide direction in many aspects of our lives. It answers questions concerning gender, parental roles, our divine nature, marriage, and the law of chastity. Not only does The Proclamation provide answers, it also ends with a challenge to "promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society" (The Family).

In this instance, we are Clark Kent rather than Superman. We have our own "Daily Planet" to share goodness through. Today social media allows us to share our beliefs in a variety of ways. We can promote the importance of the family unit with the click of a button. There are so many people who have yet to hear the glad message of The Proclamation. I reaffirm that it is our duty as responsible citizens to promote and spread the message of The Proclamation. How can we have this knowledge, and not share it? 

Sources:

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). The Proclamation: A Guide, a Banner, and a Doctinal Summary of the Church’s Emphasis on the Family. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, September 23). Retrieved October 29, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Combating Threats to the Family

David A. Bednar has said, “Satan works unremittingly to confuse understanding about gender, to promote the premature and unrighteous use of procreative power, and to hinder righteous marriage precisely because marriage is ordained of God and the family is central to the plan of happiness. The adversary’s attacks upon eternal marriage will continue to increase in intensity, frequency, and sophistication.”

How can we combat these threats against the family? How can we defend and protect this fundamental principle of society? Well, if the adversary is attacking marriage, then first we should fortify and strengthen our marriages. 

"Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God" and I don't think God wants to see our marriages fail. I believe that if we work hard and ask for his help, we can fight these modern threats towards the family.

In the words of Blake Shelton:

On my own I'm only

Half of what I could be

I can't do without you

We are stitched together

And what love has tethered

I pray we never undo

'Cause God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

And for when I think I've lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it's true

God gave me you, gave me you

He gave me you

For many people, "the pathways to a healthy, stable marriage are increasingly convoluted and challenging to walk" (Hawkins et al). Just as superheroes must go through training to strengthen their bodies and hone their skills, so must we study and train to have strong relationships. 

How can we receive this "training"? The Family: A Proclamation to the World challenges "responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society". So, in a sense, we are being asked to teach others and learn from others what to do to build strong relationships. We can't just say, "here's a problem, now somebody fix it." Rather, we must say, "here's a problem, and here's  a solution." The idea of "leaving youth and young adults on their own totry to figure out how they can achieve their hopes for a healthy, stable marriage seems a heartless and counterproductive strategy" (Hawkins et al).

We can't leave the future generations alone to struggle. Wouldn't it be better for them to learn from our mistakes instead of making their own? We can strengthen future families by teaching others how to communicate with one another. Educating couples on how the other sex thinks and acts can prevent many problems. As we stand up for the family and God's rules concerning marriage, we can fight the adversary. We don't have to let Satan win this round. The end is already known. God has already won, but let's help Him win this battle. We are latter-day heroes and we have what it takes to fight back. We know what God has commanded, now let us as responsible citizens go out and promote those messages (The Family).

Sources:

Barnes, D. (2011). God Gave Me You [Recorded by Blake Shelton]. On Red River Blue [cd]. Nashville, Tennessee: Warner Brothers Nashville

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Public Policy Agenda to Help Couples Form and Sustain Healthy, Stable Marriages. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, September 23). Retrieved October 29, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Forgiveness in Families

Forgiveness is a topic where following it is much easier said than done. How many of us struggle to forgive someone for what they've done? Often the damage can't be undone with a simple "I'm sorry." Forgiveness isn't easy, but it is so worth it! The Family: A Proclamation to the World states, "successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of... repentance [and] forgiveness."

Let's use the relationship of Thor and Loki as an example (please note that I am using their story from The Avengers  and both Thor movies rather than the comic book stories). 

Thor and Loki grew up together as brother, but as their father, Odin, praised and spoiled Thor, Loki became resentful. Loki became bitter and began to find ways to gain favor in his father's eyes by making Thor look bad. When Thor is banished to Earth for his careless (and pretty much stupid) ways, his brother Loki sees this as an opportunity to take over the throne of Asgard.

This begins Loki's plan to kill Thor, and possibly destroy earth if necessary. However, Thor defeats the warrior Lokie sends after him and Thor returns to Asgard to confront Loki. Thor arrives and fights Loki before destroying the Bifröst Bridge to stop Loki's plan, stranding himself in Asgard. Odin arrives and prevents the brothers from falling into the hole created by the bridge's destruction, but Loki allows himself to fall when Odin rejects his pleas for approval.

Loki and Thor do not get the chance to mend their relationship until after Thor has joined the Avengers and Loki decides to try to take over Earth and become its ruler. Again, brother is pitted against brother. After the Avengers work together and save Earth from destruction, Thor takes Loki back to Asgard to be dealt with, rather than leaving his treatment up to S.H.I.E.L.D.

Later, and evil "god" Malekith, awakened by the release of the Aether attacks Asgard. During the battle, Malekith and Algrim search for Jane, sensing that she contains the Aether. Thor's mother Frigga is killed protecting Jane (Thor's girlfriend). Thor enlists the help of Loki, who knows of a secret portal to Svartalfheim, where they will use Jane to lure and confront Malekith, away from Asgard. In return, Thor promises Loki vengeance on Malekith for killing their mother. Thor's humility in asking for Loki's help is the first step allowing their relationship to be mended.

The first step in forgiving someone, is to recall the hurt. Usually we try to ignore the hurt, but "in order to forgive, we have to be clear about the wrongdoing and acknowledge the injury" (Hawkins et al). Thor could no longer pretend that Loki's actions had hurt him. Next, Thor had to empathize with Loki. He needed to see the world through his eyes. Thor couldn't truly forgive Loki without understanding Loki's feelings and reasoning. The next step was for Thor to offer forgiveness. After Thor released Loki from prison, he worked hard to be there for his brother and to give him a second chance.  He committed to publicly forgive Loki before his friends and fellow warriors.

Perhaps the most important step in the forgiveness process is to hold on to forgiveness. People need to "move forward with one's life instead of revisiting the transgression committed agains him or her.

I leave with you these words, "Is there someone in your life who perhaps needs forgiveness? Is there someone in your home, someone in your family, someone in your neighborhood who has done an unjust or an unkind or an unchristian thing? All of us are guilty of such transgressions, so there surely must be someone who yet needs your forgiveness" (Holland).

Sources:

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Repentance and Forgiveness in Family Life. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Holland, J. (2008, December 1). Amazed at the Love Jesus Offers Me - Liahona Dec. 2008 - Liahona. Retrieved November 9, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/liahona/2008/12/amazed-at-the-love-jesus-offers-me?lang=eng

The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, September 23). Retrieved October 29, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

What Matters Most

As parents, we have the responsibility to raise responsible children. “A home with a loving and loyal husband and wife is the supreme setting in which children can be reared in love and righteousness and in which the spiritual and physical needs of children can be met" (Bednar). The Family: A Proclamation to the World states that it is our duty to "be law-abiding citizens wherever [we] live" and "to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society".

As we teach our children to live righteously and live the commandments, we fulfill our duties as parents. We will be accountable for our parenting, and I hope that we don't become caught up in being perfect and miss out on what matters most.

"I speak to fathers and mothers everywhere with a plea to put harshness behind us, to bridle our anger, to lower our voices, and to deal with mercy and love respect one toward anther in our homes" (Hawkins et al).

We can't teach our children to be law-abiding and responsible citizens if we don't show them how such citizens act. Telling a child to avoid drinking and doing drugs only goes so far, and if we have a cigarette or a glass of wine every once in  a while, they will become confused by the contradition between our actions and our words. Too often we follow the "do as I say, not as I do" idea in our parenting methods. 

Ezra Taft Benson said, "Children must be taught right from wrong. They can and must learn the commandments of God. They must be taught that it is wrong to steal, lie, cheat, or covet what others have. Children must be taught to work at home. They should learn there that honest labor develops dignity and self-respect. They should learn the pleasure of work, of doing a job well.”

Only by teaching our children what matters most can we fully appreciate what matters most in life. How great will be our joy as we watch our children grow and develop into the person we are raising them to become. 


Sources:

Bednar, D., (June 2006), Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan, Retrieved October 30, 2015 from https://www.lds.org/ensign/2006/06/marriage-is-essential-to-his-eternal-plan?lang=eng

Benson, E. (1992, July 1). Salvation-A Family Affair. Retrieved November 2, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/ensign/1992/07/salvation-a-family-affair?lang=eng

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Parenting in Gospel Context: Practices Do Make a Difference. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World. (1995, September 23). Retrieved October 29, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Heroic Duties

I'd like to start today's post out with the words of Brad Paisley:

I met the man I call my dad when I was five years old

He took my mom out to a movie and for once I got to go

A few months later I remember lying there in bed

I overheard him pop the question and prayed that she'd say yes

And then all of a sudden

Oh, it seemed so strange to me

How we went from something's missing

To a family

Lookin' back all I can say

About all the things he did for me

Is I hope I'm at least half the dad

That he didn't have to be

This song always reminds me of the type of parent I want to be. In the song, the young boy is overwhelmed by the love he is shown by his step-father. I feel that such love and devotion to our children is not only necessary, but our duty as parents. As parents, we "have a sacred duty to rear [our] children in love and righteousness" (The Family).

Our duties as parents are similar to heroic duties held by superheroes. For example, heroes protect and defend people from threats. They slay the dragon or put the bad guy in jail. Being a hero requires more than just being a good role model. It requires sacrifice and effort. Iron Man didn't become a superhero by building a cool suit. He became a hero by saving the lives of innocent people. He was a hero because he risked his life.

Now, parents are not asked to sacrifice their lives for their children to become heroes, but sacrifices do need to be made. Our time is no longer our own. It belongs to our spouse and our children. We may have to sacrifice reading the next chapter in that wonderful book, or give up watching that chick flick to help finish a science project or kiss a "boo-boo". It is through our actions that our heroic character develops.

We must become "models of appropriate behavior consistent with self-control, positive values, and positive attitudes" (Hawkins et al). Developing these attributes prepares us to be able to fulfill all of our parental and heroic duties.

As quoted above, being a parent is a sacred duty. Not an important or meaningful duty- a sacred duty. Don't be discouraged by this duty, God has given us "commandments, guiding principles, and helpful examples in the scriptures, along with the counsel of modern-day prophets and apostles" to help us as we fulfill our duties as parents (Hawkins et al). 

How can we influence our children for good? How do we make sure that they follow the right path? It has been discovered that "it is within the moral and spiritual domains where parents can have the most influence" (Hawkins et al). This makes sense, because our religious views and practices shape how we think and who we become. I truly believe that "one of the most powerful tools that parents have in teaching positive values to their children is their religious faith" (Hawkins et al). 

I believe that through our actions we can show our children the correct principles in life to live by. I believe that as we sacrifice our time to truly get to know our children and to become their friend, we can also become their hero. I believe that "Of all the joys of life, none other equals that of happy parenthood. Of all the responsibilities with which we struggle, none other is so serious. To rear children in an atmosphere of love, security, and faith is the most rewarding of all challenges. The good result from such efforts becomes life’s most satisfying compensation" (Hinckley).

Sources:

Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Parenting with Love, Limits, and Latitude: Proclamation Principles and Supportive Scholarship. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

Hinckley, G. (1994, October 1). Save the Children. Retrieved October 30, 2015, from https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1994/10/save-the-children?lang=eng

Lovelace, J., Paisley, B. (1999). He Didn’t Have to be [Recorded by Brad Paisley]. On Who Needs Pictures [cd]. Nashville, Tennessee: Artista Nashville.

Becoming a Superhero to our Family

In 2010, the movie Iron Man came out. I along with people all over the world have come to love this movie. But, it didn't end there! Next, we got to enjoy the rugged good looks of Chris Hemsworth in Thor and the dashing Chris Evans in Captain America. At that point, I didn't think it could get any better. Boy was I wrong! The Avengers came out and exceeded all of my expectations. Who doesn't love superheroes? It's an added bonus that they are all extremely attractive and wear form fitting outfits!

Let's not forget that what's on the inside matters as well. The first comic book for the Avengers describes the purpose of the Avengers, “to fight the foes no single superhero could withstand.” So, they're hot, and fight for the innocent and the weak. Awesome!

Don't you wish they were real? Today, the world is in need of superheroes. The family unit is being torn apart and degraded. Many young adults don't want to get married, and some of the ones that do, don't want to have children. We need people to stand up for the family! We need to fight against the villain named Fear. We can be those super heroes. We can stand up and defend our spouses and our children. I suggest that we grab our shield of truth or cape of honesty and show that the Family is worth fighting for.