Pathways to Eternal Marriage

It is common knowledge that here at BYU-Idaho an emphasis is put on dating. Church lessons, devotional talks, FHE activities, and even classes on campus come back to the topic of dating. Some say that you go to BYU to get married but you go to BYU-Idaho to get an education and get married. Most of the time it seems we get an education on dating.

The thing is, most of us want to date! We really do! As much as we hate the lectures on selfishness and waiting until we graduate to get married, we want to start our families now. For some reason, dating is not occurring. The form of dating has eroded over time.

What happened to chivalry? My roommate was asked out on a date, but he expected her to pick him up, drive them around, and then drop him off afterwards! Most of us are lucky if someone asks us out through a text message. The romance is lost in the messaging and screen time. 

We love the chivalry found in superheroes. Captain America becomes more endearing when he calls Agent Carter "miss" or "m'am". Even Thor treats Jane Foster with respect and uses terms such as "m'lady".  Showing respect towards one another goes a long ways.

It has been found that, "Young women and men more often 'hang out' rather than go on planned dates. Young adults often report finding that even when they have been hanging out with someone over a period of time, they still do not know if they are a couple" (Hawkins). 

The erosion of dating and the apparent death of chivalry has led to pessimism towards marriage. Julie B. Beck said, “Evidence is all around us that the family is becoming less important. Marriage rates are declining, the age of marriage is rising, and divorce rates are rising. Out-of-wedlock births are growing. Abortion is rising and becoming increasingly legal. We see lower birth rates. We see unequal relationships between men and women, and we see cultures that still practice abuse within family relationships. Many times a career gains importance over the family.” Many are familiar with the statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Young people become depressed by this statistic and feel that the chances of them having a lasting marriage are slim. However, this statistic is false! That's right, for years people have been misinformed. It has been declining for years, but somehow this myth lives on.

We need to change this attitude towards marriage. We can't be the Lois Lane waiting for Superman to fly in to save our situation. We are the hero of our own story. We need our own personal lasso of truth to protect us from the evils of the world. Be a hero today. It can all begin with you.

Decide now to live a chaste life, to uphold your standards, and to avoid situations that you may regret. Participate in dating, don't settle for hanging out and hooking up. You have the power to create whatever life you want.

Sources:

          Hawkins, A., Dollahite, D., & Draper, T. (2012). Young Adulthood and Pathways to Eternal Marriage. In Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives. Provo, Utah: BYU Studies and School of Family Life, Brigham Young University.

          Miller, C. (2014, December 1). The Divorce Surge Is Over, but the Myth Lives On. New York Times.